so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize