Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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