My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
