come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
