We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
