The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize