So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
