Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize