K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
