I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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