Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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