I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
