Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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