Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
