Moan for me like Helen Keller
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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