well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize