If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
