i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i think my tv is drunk
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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