he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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