Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
