love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
