420 ftw
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize