yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize