Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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