wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize