The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
