bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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