I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
