I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize