the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I think I sprained my soul last night
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
