After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
