i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Randomize