I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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