Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
