i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
