Already got asked if we're dating
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
