if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I feel great
I just peed on a car
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
