I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
