Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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