Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
