I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize