I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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