he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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