I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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