I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
