Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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