Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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