I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
