I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
