I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
A bitchslap is in order.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
