Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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