Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
