I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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