I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
