The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
