Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
