I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
