My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
