You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
