The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
