How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
