I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
