my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
