i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
