Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
