Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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