Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
