i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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