you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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