omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
