Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
