Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
