would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
