never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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