there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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