Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
