weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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