he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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