That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
