Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I feel great
I just peed on a car
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
cat food counts as protein by the way
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
