i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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